Face it, Your Boss is a Rat
By: John Shepler
If you think something smells rotten in corporate America, you're right. It's a foul aroma wafting in from the executive suites, where the rats are jumping for joy at the success of their latest manifesto, "Who Moved My Cheese?", subtitled...get this, "An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and In Your Life."
"We moved it," they squeal with delight, "and when we want to, we'll move it again." Why? Very simple. Management has discovered that moving or removing YOUR cheese can be quite advantageous to them. But they've known that for a more than a decade. What they've just begun to realize is that it's possible to sell employees on the idea that this is perfectly OK. I'll elaborate, but first let me tell you how it all began.
It Takes Only a Minute
Think this is funny? It's revolutionary. The enabling power of one minute management has caused the entire Fortune 500 to refocus from the concept of stewardship, with a responsibility to the community that spans generations, to a slavish devotion to the needs of the institutional investor, primarily an increased stream of earnings every fiscal quarter. White-collar layoffs, almost unheard of prior to the 1980s, are now a standard tool of expense management. With only a minute needed for problem solving, the span of control for managers has increased as much as ten fold and the number of people assigned to non-producing supervisory functions proportionally reduced. Productivity, as measured by corporate earnings, soared to create the raging bull market of the 1990s. Johnson and Blanchard are lauded in corporate circles. But the emphasis on rapid decision making has led to shortened attention spans. It's already time for something new...
The Big Cheese
Re-enter Johnson, sans Blanchard, with a new silver bullet, this one cleverly disguised as an irresistible morsel of cheese. And who can resist the power of cheese? It's a story that is designed once again to get the onus of action into the mind of the common employee. Without giving too much away, here's how it goes.
It seems that there are two mice and two small people living in a maze. They dine on a seemingly endless supply of cheese provided by an unseen benevolent caretaker. All are complacent and happy with this scenario, until one day the cheese is gone. The mice shrug and take off down the corridors of the maze to find more cheese, as you'd expect lab mice to do. The two little guys, however, get in a snit and simply pout in expectation that the cheese will soon return. Whoever created this situation must resolve it. Only intense pangs of hunger and a sense of futility in waiting anymore drive them out in search of replacement cheese. Finally they got the point...but what point?
No wonder management is doubled over in delight with this literary masterpiece. First of all, the new rules for business are clearly being spelled out. Management provides the nutritious cheese in the form of salaries, benefits and perks, but they may be changed or removed at any time without explanation. That's acceptable and to be expected. When changes occur, it is the employees' job to go scurrying after new cheese, preferably without hesitation. The employee must sniff out where there might be opportunity, negotiate an unknowingly complex maze, and persist until he or she finds enough cheese to be temporarily sated. What's more, these new rules are perfectly allowable. The happy employees of the future are the ones who enjoy the thrill of the cheese chase and ask nothing but the opportunity to be allowed to run the maze each day with the assumption that somewhere there just might actually be cheese. No guarantees.
We Should Have Known All Along
The ultimate irony is that all good mice must eventually come to an end. Even in the laboratory, cooperative white mice are removed from the maze when the experimental results are achieved. What becomes of them? Well, when there are more mice than are needed, there is no reason to indefinitely keep feeding them. They must be disposed of. Some become pets and keep honorary positions. The more fearful forms of corporate disposal include firings, layoffs, demotions, forced early retirements, and scaring the meek into bolting on their own for other opportunities. Now I ask you, was Scott Adams prophetic when he assigned the job of Human Resources Director to a cat, Catbert?
The Light at the End of the Maze is Outside
"Who Moved My Cheese?" should be taken as a warning. Just like "Animal Farm" alerted a generation to the dangers of totalitarianism, this story is a cautionary tale for today's workforce. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life hoping that someone will drop some cheese into your cube?
The real ways to win this game are to own the cheese factory, hoard some cheese for times of need, and don't get so addicted to chasing the "big cheese" that you live for nothing else than running the maze. But those are other stories.
Books of Interest:
Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life by Spencer Johnson & Kenneth H. Blanchard. This is it. The holiest of the holy cheese (Swiss?) grail. If you haven't memorized key passages to enhance your management presentations, then you are going nowhere in the corporate world. You should read this even if you find the stench of management's cheese repulsive. It is better to know ;-)
Who Cut the Cheese? A Cutting-Edge Way of Surviving Change by Shifting the Blame by Mason Brown. In case you haven't guessed, it's a parody of the Johnson and Blanchard masterpiece. A little crude, but funny.
Who Cut the Cheese? A-Mazing Parody about Change and How We Can Get Our Hands on Yours by Stilton Jarlsberg & Kenneth Bleucheese. Yes, a separate but equal parody. Apparently, the "cut the cheese" angle is just too much to resist.
The One Minute Manager by Kenneth H. Blanchard & Spencer Johnson. This is where it started going horribly, horribly wrong. The astounding adoption of this diminutive work as management dogma surpassed that of even Chairman Mao's little red book. It would no doubt come as a shock to Paul Revere to discover how the term "Minute Man" has been corrupted in today's workplace.
Animal Farm A Fairy Story by George Orwell, C. M. Woodhouse & Russell Baker. The original cautionary tale that we boomers read in high school. It was meant to save us from being duped by communism and corporate totalitarianism. Well, 50% ain't bad, right?
Aftershock: Helping People through Corporate Change by Harry Woodward and Steve Buchholz. This is a serious book on the process of change in business and the expected human reaction. An excellent resource for managers who must deal with the execution and aftermath of downsizing and major company disruptions. It is also a good read for employees who want to know what the bosses know, and maybe a lot more.
Also visit Books-A-Million for an excellent selection of new books, magazines, e-books, audio books and more at low, low prices.
Also visit these related sites:
The Official Dilbert Site - This is the home of Scott Adams, Dilbert, Dogbert and the rest of the gang. Features funny stuff with comics and mashups.
Dilbert Fans Resources - Links to lots of blogs and fun things related to Dilbert, courtesy of Answer Connect.
Telexplainer - High speed voice and network technologies explained in simple terms.
Copyright 2000 - 2018 by John E. Shepler. Contact me at: John (at) JohnShepler.com
Sponsored by Telexplainer - We proudly offer Blue Wave Election, Write is Might, Sheep For T1, Cloud Brokerage Service, Gigapacket Tech Gifts, Toasty Leads, Copper Ethernet, Fiber Network Quotes, Ethernet over Copper, Cloud Networking Services, Help an Elephant, Loves Elephants, Ether Rabbit, MPLS Networks Today, Ethernet Today, DS3 Today, T1 T3 Today, Ethernet Buildings, MegaTrunks, Gigapackets Fiber Optic, T3 Rex and T1 Rex. We are members of numerous affiliate programs, including the commercial telecom services of Telarus, Inc.
First Published: December 27, 2000 on Epinions You can read this review at http://johnshepler.epinions.com/book-review-62DE-4CB052EA-3A4A91EF-prod6 and other reviews on the same topic at http://johnshepler.epinions.com/book-Books-All. Check out my profile page at http://johnshepler.epinions.com/user-johnshepler.